It was not so much that I am associated with second best, more so that I am the second best that is associated with so and so. If you have ever heard the secular term "pissing in your own pool" then perhaps you may connect with what I am trying to say.
As for the gossip floating through other people's minds, it is not so much that I would personally feel hurt, but more so if others who have may been associated with the person before may be hurt by the talk going around. Secondly, although I do not personally feel hurt by the gossip, I should be aware that it encourages others to gossip and in result there may be the need to make effort to remediate the issue.
As for people's past, I think the issue was much more so being aware of how they may have dealt with situations, with people, their character and how I would I react to it. And whether they have learnt, made necessary changes, or grown from their past...
Basically at the end of the day, the problem is not their's, but mine. The need to judge people objectively especially if I do not know them well and most importantly through God's eyes, not only through my own.
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