I Fell Into Marriage

A few weeks ago I had a conversation that went along the lines of, (starting halfway in).

Person: Don’t ever get married
Me pulls a facial expression which triggers questions
Person: Oh, you’re married
Me: No
Person: Engaged?
Me: No
Person: Boyfriend?
Me: No
Person: I cannot believe that you do not have a partner/bf/(whatever term they used) with the way you look (can’t recall exact works but it was something along those lines)
Me: It’s not about looks

And then he ranted on about he was crazy to get married and it was not possible to say no to when you fall in love.

And I debated on about how marriage is a choice, that love is being willing to stick through everything, and who he and his wife now will not be the same people in X years time. And who his wife is in the future will be different to who he fell for then etc etc.

His reasoning (excuse for not living up to his initial comment) for getting married is because he was scared of his wife, and could not say no. Like he could not escape her and did not have a choice. I think he was still okay with marrying her, as in he does not regret it.

Despite how he justified why he got married, marriage is still a choice. Even for those who were in difficult circumstances where they were oppressed and manipulated ie. “If you don’t marry me I will … this civilisation”, still made a choice even if consequences influenced their decision. Unfortunately there are many loveless broken marriages.

Before the discussion ended up going around in circles he concluded that his point was you cannot avoid it when you love someone.

We agreed on that.

As for the definition of loving someone and how one lives out that love is a whole other story.